Corporate Git Reality Check
You're a junior dev at TechnoSphere Solutions. Day one revelation: Marcus, the "senior developer," has been doing version control by emailing himself ZIP files and naming folders "project_v1_final_REALLY_FINAL_jesus_fuck_please_work". Your manager Linda approaches with the dead-eyed stare of someone who's explained basic shit to mouth-breathing idiots all quarter. "Learn Git," she says. "Marcus rage-quit yesterday when someone mentioned 'merge conflicts.' He started sobbing and ran out screaming about how GitHub was 'designed by sadists.'" Welcome to 2025, where grown-ass developers still think Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V is a sustainable development strategy. This is your life now.